Liberation: My Quest to Find True Freedom

I think one of the hardest concepts I have ever attempted to grasp in life is the reality of God's character. He is grace yet justice. Love yet anger. Peace yet revolution. He is acceptance, yet demands change. Powerful yet meek. Comforting yet challenging. Greater than I can imagine, yet small enough to hear my cries. The creator and the termimator. The beginning and the end. Intimidating yet inviting. He is frighteningly and terrifyingly beautiful. He is God.

I ache to know His heart. I yearn to know the dreams of my Father. I burn with the desire to build His kingdom.

My mind, my body, and my spirit are tired. The demands of the world and its people are draining. This past week has been one of deceit, rejection, and abandonment by some of my most trusted friends. And yet I find myself so alive. I've never felt so saddened by life and yet so joyful in His promises. I long to live in the fullness of His Love. His Love. Not the world's idea of love. Real love is challenging, life-changing, constant, truthful and honest, and sometimes unbelievably painful. Because it refuses to leave us the same. God's love isn't "fluffy". Jesus loves you. But what does that mean? It means He loves you enough to show you His heart. It means He loves you enough to let you experience just a small portion of His sacrifice. You want to feel love? It's gonna hurt, and its not fun. Thats love. But we are all so programmed to believe the world's idea of love. The kind of love that encourages us to remain the same people. The kind of love that hides real living from us. You want to live a free life? Experience Christ's love...and find yourself Alive.

Father, save me from the drama. My soul, my heart, my everything craves Truth. So much of my life is petty and worthless. My time here in this world is so short, and I can only hope I use my time wisely to do Your work. Help me strip away anything that hinders or keeps me from Your purpose Lord. Give me discernment. I want to live a life filled with Your miracles. Form my opinions. Guide my actions. My world is filled with deceit, abandonment and cheap talk, even amongst my closest friends. Help me find comfort in the promise of Your word.

"For you have been called to live in freedom-not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature-but freedom to serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13

...Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32

Only recently do I feel I've begun to grasp what Christ meant when He talked of a free life. It's not simply freedom from our sin...but freedom from the sin of others. We must make sure our relationships are healthy and are helping us become the person we want to be. Anything that keeps us from union with our savior is slavery according to God. And I've lived far too long in slavery....in bondage to people and my emotions...in bondage to the hurt in my past...in bondage to my fears. In bondage to the the world and it's promises of sweet nothings in my ear. And I'm ready to embrace true freedom. The kind of freedom that only Christ can give me.

Theres a song I absolutely love by Plumb

Free

You thought you had me/all tied up in a little knot/you thought i'd go on living just like you/til you asked me nicely to stop

but suprise
I'm free/I'm free/I'm free/To be the girl you tried to steal

You thought I'd free out/and wither away in abandon/Now you know differently and I've/gone on living/Much more than you'd ever imagined/

So suprise/I'm free/I'm free/I'm free/ To be the girl you tied to steal/To be the girl you tried to steal from me

It isnt every day/someone sets you free/and gives you walking papers/to be the real thing
_______________

Suprise world....Christ has set me free. And I will not go back to the life I've lived before. Because I have never felt so at peace. I am no longer in control...and for once I am ok with that...in fact I love it. God can teach even a control freak like me true freedom....I simply had to make the choice to embrace it.

Tomorrow is the beginning of Ichthus....and I don't know what it is about it...but despite it being my 5th year going...I'm still as excited and giddy as the first. Where else would I gather with 25,000 other people and worship God? Theres just something so AMAZING about being with that many people on fire for God...especially my peers. Every year I find myself inspired, changed, but more importantly...I feel your presence among us all. What a gift...a blessing...to be able to take communion with thousands of your beloved children.

Father create in me Your spirit. Help me to listen to Your voice. So often I like to be able to say that You're not speaking to me....but in reality...You are softly whispering Your dreams into my ear. Unfortunately, I hardly ever even hear you until you scream. Give me a desire to know you more...give me the ears to hear you. Give me the will to serve you. Father, I am open to your work at this very moment. Help me to stay that way.